Pain and God's Glory

James 1:2-4

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

This past week I had the honor and blessing of being with a great friend and his precious wife for the birth and death of their beautiful baby girl Adelynn. Adelynn was diagnosed with a condition called anencephaly where a majority of the brain doesn’t develop. This is a rare condition, and is not heard of often because most babies diagnosed with this condition are aborted rather than being carried full term. There are some cases where anencephalic babies are born alive, but most are not, and the ones that are pass away shortly after birth.

As Wade and Christa were struck with the gravity of Adelynn’s diagnosis they were faced with the decision of having an abortion or carrying Adelynn until birth. From my understanding many parents decide that abortion is the best choice due to the physical pain and emotional agony that a mother and father must endure when carrying full term. As Christians, Wade and Christa believe life begins at conception, so abortion was not a consideration. Christa believes that they were chosen to carry Adelynn so in their minds there was no decision to be made. When sent to a counselor, Wade, as a protective and loving father and husband, told the counselor that abortion was not an option therefor counseling would need to be directed towards carrying full term.

I have been amazed and greatly encouraged by the faith of my dear friends. It has been amazing to hear of Christa’s strength and faith. Throughout the entire process, Christa has been reminding everyone that despite the pain her and Wade are going through, carrying Adelynn for nine months is a blessing and a joy. I have been encouraged by seeing Wade, as a husband and father, humbly submit to the Lord in faith that His plan is better than his (Wade’s) plan. They have trusted God’s plan knowing that He could perform a miracle in this situation if He so chose, but if He didn’t that His plan for Wade and Christa was out of love for them. They have spent nine months cherishing every moment that they have had with Adelynn, celebrating and enjoying every kick and movement. Those nine months will be a time that they hold so special in their hearts until the day that they are standing at the throne of their Father!

Adelynn was born at 7:48 pm on Thursday March 21, 2013. She weighed 5 pounds and 4 ounces and was one of the most beautiful little baby girls that I have ever seen. When she was born she took three breathes before passing away. These few seconds of life outside of the womb will also be a time that this mother and father will cherish for the rest of their lives.

I was moved to write this due to a question that was posed to me this week. Someone asked, “How do you find joy in this? How is this glorifying to God?” This was a question that I would assume is asked thousands of times a day, and unfortunately I feel that as Christians we tend to give knee-jerk “bible answers.” God is good, He works all things out for good, and God has a plan. These things are true, but another truth is that this sucks! This is painful, there is hurt and suffering going on in this moment. A mother and a father just lost their baby girl and those precious nine months and several seconds are now but a memory.

What I realized is that there’s not joy in this. This is broken and painful and a proper response is sadness, crying, weeping, and mourning. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time to weep, and this is definitely it. When I look back at the life of Jesus, I don’t see Him telling hurting people that it’s going to be ok. I see Jesus entering into their pain and weeping with them. Things aren’t ok right now and Jesus is mourning the death of Adelynn with Wade and Christa.

Though there is not joy in little Adelynn’s life on earth being over, there is much joy to be found in the many pictures of the gospel that were displayed this week. I saw a husband and wife love and encourage each other through this horrific ordeal. They were right by each other’s side the entire time, trusting in God’s plan for their family. I also saw a family huddle around hurting parents and love them well through this. I saw them serve, love, encourage, and pray for Wade and Christa without ceasing. What a beautiful picture of Jesus loving us and entering into our pain.

The most beautiful picture of the gospel that I saw this week was late Friday night. Everyone had been brought into the room to see Adelynn and to mourn her passing and had been ushered back out into the waiting room. I went to their room to move their luggage up to another room and when I walked in Wade and Christa were alone. Wade was holding Adelynn, with her little head on his shoulder walking around the room with her. As much as this broke my heart, I saw Jesus so clearly in this moment. Adelynn never did anything to make Wade love her. She didn’t have to earn his love and would have been helpless in doing so. Wade loves Adelynn because she is his. Jesus loves us because we are His.

Just like a loving mother and father, Jesus rejoices in our little kicks, and cherishes our breathes. He also mourns in our deaths and picks our little bodies up and holds us close. The beauty in His rejoicing us and mourning us is His love for us. Jesus loves us so much and I saw his love so magnificently in a broken family this week.

“How do you find joy in this? How is this glorifying to God?” I believe that the answer to this is that we don’t find joy in these situations, but our joy is in the hope we have in Christ. Our joy is found in knowing that a God loves us and cares for us so deeply, that He hurts when we hurt. God is glorified because it is this hope that sees us through and where our rest lies.

God understands the pain that Wade and Christa are going through. He has entered into this pain with them and will be there for as long as it takes.

 

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son…”

Even in their hurt and pain, Wade and Christa can rejoice in the fact that they will see Adelynn again. Because of Christ’s resurrection, Adelynn will be raised up with Him and all of the saints. This broken mother and father will one day get to see their baby girl again, face to face, in the presence of a Savior Who entered in and hurt with them, while also giving them comfort and peace in their suffering.

Romans 8:18

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”