James 1:2-4
“Count it all joy, my brothers,
when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the
testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let
steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking
in nothing.”
This
past week I had the honor and blessing of being with a great friend and his
precious wife for the birth and death of their beautiful baby girl Adelynn.
Adelynn was diagnosed with a condition called anencephaly where a majority of the
brain doesn’t develop. This is a rare condition, and is not heard of often
because most babies diagnosed with this condition are aborted rather than being
carried full term. There are some cases where anencephalic babies are born
alive, but most are not, and the ones that are pass away shortly after birth.
As
Wade and Christa were struck with the gravity of Adelynn’s diagnosis they were
faced with the decision of having an abortion or carrying Adelynn until birth.
From my understanding many parents decide that abortion is the best choice due
to the physical pain and emotional agony that a mother and father must endure
when carrying full term. As Christians, Wade and Christa believe life begins at
conception, so abortion was not a consideration. Christa believes that they
were chosen to carry Adelynn so in their minds there was no decision to be
made. When sent to a counselor, Wade, as a protective and loving father and
husband, told the counselor that abortion was not an option therefor counseling
would need to be directed towards carrying full term.
I
have been amazed and greatly encouraged by the faith of my dear friends. It has
been amazing to hear of Christa’s strength and faith. Throughout the entire
process, Christa has been reminding everyone that despite the pain her and Wade
are going through, carrying Adelynn for nine months is a blessing and a joy. I
have been encouraged by seeing Wade, as a husband and father, humbly submit to
the Lord in faith that His plan is better than his (Wade’s) plan. They have
trusted God’s plan knowing that He could perform a miracle in this situation if
He so chose, but if He didn’t that His plan for Wade and Christa was out of
love for them. They have spent nine months cherishing every moment that they
have had with Adelynn, celebrating and enjoying every kick and movement. Those
nine months will be a time that they hold so special in their hearts until the
day that they are standing at the throne of their Father!
Adelynn
was born at 7:48 pm on Thursday March 21, 2013. She weighed 5 pounds and 4
ounces and was one of the most beautiful little baby girls that I have ever seen.
When she was born she took three breathes before passing away. These few
seconds of life outside of the womb will also be a time that this mother and
father will cherish for the rest of their lives.
I
was moved to write this due to a question that was posed to me this week.
Someone asked, “How do you find joy in this? How is this glorifying to God?”
This was a question that I would assume is asked thousands of times a day, and
unfortunately I feel that as Christians we tend to give knee-jerk “bible
answers.” God is good, He works all things out for good, and God has a plan.
These things are true, but another truth is that this sucks! This is painful,
there is hurt and suffering going on in this moment. A mother and a father just
lost their baby girl and those precious nine months and several seconds are now
but a memory.
What
I realized is that there’s not joy in this. This is broken and painful and a
proper response is sadness, crying, weeping, and mourning. Ecclesiastes tells
us that there is a time to weep, and this is definitely it. When I look back at
the life of Jesus, I don’t see Him telling hurting people that it’s going to be
ok. I see Jesus entering into their pain and weeping with them. Things aren’t
ok right now and Jesus is mourning the death of Adelynn with Wade and Christa.
Though
there is not joy in little Adelynn’s life on earth being over, there is much
joy to be found in the many pictures of the gospel that were displayed this
week. I saw a husband and wife love and encourage each other through this
horrific ordeal. They were right by each other’s side the entire time, trusting
in God’s plan for their family. I also saw a family huddle around hurting
parents and love them well through this. I saw them serve, love, encourage, and
pray for Wade and Christa without ceasing. What a beautiful picture of Jesus
loving us and entering into our pain.
The
most beautiful picture of the gospel that I saw this week was late Friday
night. Everyone had been brought into the room to see Adelynn and to mourn her
passing and had been ushered back out into the waiting room. I went to their
room to move their luggage up to another room and when I walked in Wade and
Christa were alone. Wade was holding Adelynn, with her little head on his
shoulder walking around the room with her. As much as this broke my heart, I
saw Jesus so clearly in this moment. Adelynn never did anything to make Wade
love her. She didn’t have to earn his love and would have been helpless in
doing so. Wade loves Adelynn because she is his. Jesus loves us because we are
His.
Just
like a loving mother and father, Jesus rejoices in our little kicks, and
cherishes our breathes. He also mourns in our deaths and picks our little
bodies up and holds us close. The beauty in His rejoicing us and mourning us is
His love for us. Jesus loves us so much and I saw his love so magnificently in
a broken family this week.
“How
do you find joy in this? How is this glorifying to God?” I believe that the
answer to this is that we don’t find joy in these situations, but our joy is in
the hope we have in Christ. Our joy is found in knowing that a God loves us and
cares for us so deeply, that He hurts when we hurt. God is glorified because it
is this hope that sees us through and where our rest lies.
God understands the pain that Wade
and Christa are going through. He has entered into this pain with them and will
be there for as long as it takes.
John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only
Son…”
Even in their hurt and pain, Wade and Christa can
rejoice in the fact that they will see Adelynn again. Because of Christ’s
resurrection, Adelynn will be raised up with Him and all of the saints. This
broken mother and father will one day get to see their baby girl again, face to
face, in the presence of a Savior Who entered in and hurt with them, while also
giving them comfort and peace in their suffering.
Romans 8:18
“For I
consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with
the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
